Stepping back is a good thing. It's not the same thing as "stepping away," or "stepping up," "back-stepping," or even "stepping out."
Stepping back allows one to become observant, make a plan, re-evaluate, think twice, notice new things (as well as noticing old things that hadn't seemed remarkable before), and even learn a thing or two. That's what this sabbatical year is for me. I can't say that I have taken "a
huge step back" because that sounds like a
setback or going back in time -- not at all what I'm doing. I will call it a
deep step back... a
quiet step back, and a
reflective step back.
I've been able to step back and look at myself from a new angle and to look at my marriage from a pleasant vantage point. I've stepped back and focused the lens a bit to find a clearer view of each of my children. (They probably hadn't realized that I stalk their blogs and their Facebook pages on a regular basis). I'm really impressed with what they are doing with their lives... each of them! I love what they are thinking about, questioning, and doing with their time. They probably still won't believe that I can look and wonder and adore, without thinking I have to "fix it" or "make it better." Like I said, my stepping back has been quiet and deep. Sometimes it hurts. But my kids will be pleasantly surprised the next time they take their own steps back... and gaze my way.
Stepping back is a good thing. It's not the same thing as "stepping away," or "stepping up," "back-stepping," or even "stepping out." Stepping back allows one to become observant, make a plan, re-evaluate, think twice, notice new things (as well as noticing old things that hadn't seemed remarkable before), and even learn a thing or two. That's what this sabbatical year is for me. I can't say that I have taken "a huge step back" because that sounds like a setback or going back in time -- not at all what I'm doing. I will call it a deep step back... a quiet step back, and a reflective step back.
I've been able to step back and look at myself from a new angle and to look at my marriage from a pleasant vantage point. I've stepped back and focused the lens a bit to find a clearer view of each of my children. (They probably hadn't realized that I stalk their blogs and their Facebook pages on a regular basis). I'm really impressed with what they are doing with their lives... each of them! I love what they are thinking about, questioning, and doing with their time. They probably still won't believe that I can look and wonder and adore, without thinking I have to "fix it" or "make it better." Like I said, my stepping back has been quiet and deep. Sometimes it hurts. But my kids will be pleasantly surprised the next time they take their own steps back... and gaze my way.
No comments:
Post a Comment